


Arachnophilia

by Ylpeys



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: (but it's not relevant), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, College Student Eren Yeager, Complete, Domestic Fluff, Dreams and Nightmares, Happy Ending, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, Reincarnation, Spiders, awkward pining, mention of Hanji/Kenny, mention of zeke/pieck, spider pov, under translation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:07:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24234052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ylpeys/pseuds/Ylpeys
Summary: The days are all the same, dark, damp, the routine repeat itself all over again: wake up, fight, feed, sleep and repeat.They have the feeling they always have been fighter, today as yesterday — a yesterday he cannot figure out, but they know has happened — they endure fighting to dispel the weight of loneliness: they know that if they don't continue to react they would end giving up the search for this something that could free them from the darkness of their existence.Then everything changes and they find themself face to face with the subject of their search. He couldn't be more out of reach.But they have not give up before and this won't be the first time either.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	1. A moment alone with unbeknown, reset the world imagine home.

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Arachnophilia - L'amore del ragno](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24025426) by [Ylpeys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ylpeys/pseuds/Ylpeys). 



> WARNING: mention of spider, not so grafic description of them (only fangs and paws and some general description) but still, if you are arachnophobic read at your own risk.
> 
> That being said, hi everyone, this is my first attempt in publishing a fanfiction in another language.  
> English is not my first language and if you find some mistake do not esitate to report them, it will help to improve my english skills.  
> The story is not beta read - not even in my own language version.  
> I hope you will enjoy this fanfiction almost as much as I enjoyed writing it!

__

_«They gave you everything they had, they consecrated their life for your cause, now I ask you, no, I demand you to repay them for their sacrifice! Allow them to be the architects of their destiny and to find themselves again» —_ As far as they can remember, they hear a familiar voice repeating this sentence endlessly in their mind, making clear that there is a solution to the emptiness that wears him out from within.

The days are all the same, dark, damp, the routine repeat itself all over again: wake up, fight, feed, sleep and repeat.  
They have the feeling they always have been fighter, today as yesterday — a yesterday he cannot figure out, but they know has happened — they endure fighting to dispel the weight of loneliness: they know that if they don't continue to react they would end giving up the search for this something that could free them from the darkness of their existence.

They feel exhausted, the hard armor begins to come apart, too many fights have marked them indelibly, countless scars are spreading on their body which feels like weakening day after day, the view is partial and allows to distinguishing only some shadows in the dark surrounding them.

However, despite all these aggravating factors, when they find them self facing _that_ something, they will be able to distinguish it.

In the rare moments when they are not surrounded by darkness, they are flying with their mind in unknown places, trees that stand out endlessly in the sky, endless grasslands, alongside a constant presence that spurs them to go further, to dare more than the previous day.  
Other times that presence comforts them, in the dim light of the candle which brightens up a room with stone walls, damp and a little cramped, but which tastes like home. Those moments are scented by the aroma of tea, sounded by words whispered and unspoken, fleeting touches, all that tastes like it has been stolen from something greater.

It is _that_ presence they know they must seek: then as now give them the strength to carry on.

Unfortunately, these fleeting moments of freedom are always too brief and it is increasingly painful to return to the shadow that surround and swallows them every time a little more.

  
  


Everything seems to continue in an infinite cycle until, startlingly, one day like any other, everything changes.

  
  


The world around them begins to tremble, deafening noises cloud their senses, they try to hide in the darkness that has welcomed them up to that moment – and was not so inhospitable compared to that hellish din.

That hustle and bustle lasts for hours, maybe days, they do not have the courage to abandon their den, then as it started, everything is silent, and they are left with agile footsteps and a beam of light filtering through a crack in front of them.

They reach the gap and with a curiosity that's not their, they look beyond: is this how the darkness of their existence is brightened forever and reality acquires a new _dimension_ , everything is _large_ , much bigger than they had always believed.

The environment is familiar and unknown at the same time.

They know that place, the stuccoed walls should not be so clear, there has been stone – the window should not have had glass – there is too much light – they shake their head trying to put order into those strange images that begin to overlap and return to focus the _present_.

It's only a closed door and the floor vibrating through steps that allow they to re-evaluate their perspective: it is not the world around that is big, instead are they who are low and insignificant, a shiny surface next to mercilessly reflects a grotesque being with one too many legs, dark and shapeless.

Instinctively they hide them self, they have never seen such a loathsome thing – _or maybe he have_.

  
  


When he realizes the being seems to have disappeared into thin air, he comes out of the hiding place and that's when he sees and understands everything: that distorted and gruesome being is him.

He raises his _arm_ and a thin and elongated limb appears in front of his visual, it raises another losing balance in the meantime – _"It couldn't be" –_ Yet it is.

Before holing himself up in a dark hole and trying to understand something more, he glances at the other person in the room, who, unaware of his torment, hums happily cleaning a table,

He do realize he is a spider, yet he never had the feeling of _being_ it, – but how could he? As he has lived in the dark all his life. And then those images, those dreams so vivid that they seem real ...

The laugh of the roommate distracts him from his thoughts and attracts him – bewitches him.  
It is a sincere, ringing, familiar laugh.

_«No mom, don't worry, yes I know – no, there is nobody – no ... MOM! NO! No need for you to come! Moooom! If you want to visit, and I stress_ _visit_ _, you are always and very welcome, but don't think about moving here! It's my home! –Well not really but you know what I'm saying' »_ The voice is deep and warm.

Like a moth to the flame he is drawn towards the stranger, climbs up to a higher floor and studies the figure of the young man who is talking on the phone heatedly, leaning on the table with his hips and a hand messing his own brown hair.

  
  


It's _him_.

  
  


He is laughing at something the other person said, that's the laughter that draws him and calls him out of oblivion.  
The man scratches his head – perhaps in embarrassment, the brown locks fall messily around his amber complexion, the dark stubble of beard overshadow his lower face – as if reading his thoughts scratches it absentmindedly, nods his head answering something and then replying verbally when he remembers that the interlocutor cannot see him.

The gaze lost in the distance, _he knows that look_ , his mind is far from that conversation, how many times has he seen it getting lost in his thoughts – _Eren._ He can not call him, what he hopes at least to murmur is just a rubbing of fangs and nothing more.

The object of his research stands in front of him and could not be further.

*

_They are sharing their evening ritual, the candle warms the room, the distinctive aroma of citrus and tea in the air. The day has passed quietly, the workouts are not too pressing and there is no expedition scheduled, so they can enjoy a little well-deserved physical and mental rest at its fullest._

_He gets lost now and then to look at the figure near him, elbows caressing each other, under the table the legs do the same in that conversation made of gestures and fleeting glances._

_Distracted as he is, he does not notice anything and the boy's unmanly scream catches him unprepared – «Watch out captain! Your hand –»._

_His trained reflexes allow him to stop the other before he commits the irreparable «It's just a spider Eren». He warns the young man before releasing, reluctantly, his warm hand._  
« _But Captain, it's dangerous!» His glare manages to silence him._

_«Spiders are superior beings Eren, my mother always told me even the greatest deities rely on spiders to weave the fate of humans, think about them, so small yet so efficient and lethal»_

_The offending spider is far from them, but their gaze are on the spot where it was about to be killed. «And the cobwebs? You hate dirt»_

_«It is an acceptable compromise, the flies are much more repugnant, shit-eater freeloader..._ zzzh– bzz– bzz– an annoying noise awakens him from the torpor of his dreams.

As has been called a specimen of that filthy breed has arrived in its web, this is how it understands that his hatred for flies is not only renewed, but also fomented.  
Such a pleasant memory ruined by that filthy beast, is more out of frustration than hunger that brings him to feed himself.

  
  


Even if he tried to isolate himself from everything, his fine hearing is always tuned on the roommate's voice, unintentionally he learns some things about him: Eren is in his last year of university and that is his first time living alone.  
He managed to reach a compromise with his overprotective mother – or morbidly curious _his words_ – and carve out his first space in the world.

The boy hates rough spaces, as them seems to trigger anxiety attacks, and prefers not to be in contact with too many people for the same reason, which is why he opted for this unconventional accommodation.

The property where they are living is an old castle, the summer property of a family's friend, in which he was offered lodging with a modest monthly fee in exchange for small renovations and maintenance.

All this has been extrapolated overhearing his chats with his friends over the phone.

  
  


Mulling over these thoughts, he returns to the top of the furniture to observe the protagonist of his everything.

He is drying dishes, the attention and the care with which he checks spots or streaks is admirable. Eren mutters to himself when he finds one and proceeds to wash it again: hot water – which burns his hands due to the sudden pull back of the hand from the water – soaps and rinses.

Only if the result is satisfactory and place the dishes in the cupboard.

The whistle of the kettle draws the attention of the young man and immediately turns it off preparing the teapot, the aroma of citrus fills the air almost instantly, and he is once again dragged into that torpor of sensations that have the flavor of home. The light that filters through the window is dimming, Eren turns on a lamp that warms the environment just like in his memories.

  
  


Without realizing he has gone further, abandoning his safe haven and approaching the object of his desires: he is sitting at the table and blowing on the tea to cool it while he holds the cup to warm up his hands.  
Some strands of hair slide from the manbun and swing around his face; his paw raised in midair a reminder of the real distance between them and reluctantly lowers it, still wishing to be able to move even only a strand behind his ear to free the precious gems of his eyes.

Eren, oblivious to his struggle, sighs; tidies his hair, gets up, lazily goes to his room and comes back with a book full of bookmarks, throws it on the table, it lands with a heavy thud, then starts study without a care to the world.

  
  


He dares and goes further – the hiding place is far away behind him – he realizes he can't bear to live an existence in the dark and above all, an existence far from Eren. Maybe these are the last few days they spend together and he wants to pursue everything that is granted to him.  
Even if he is only a tiny spider.

The heat of the teapot brings him to an alt, he realizes only in that moment how _far_ he has really come: in front of him the back of the chair where Eren is sitting.  
His back is wide, the boy has always been and still is so damn tall, he has _kept_ his habit to rub the back of his neck, but now it's _his own_ hand that sinks in his hair, massaging his head – _he_ _remember how much he liked when it was him who took that liberty …_ «Ouch, fuck it's hot –»The chair screeches and suddenly he is face to face with the man.

He swallows, or thinks to do – he hides behind his paws fearing what's to come, the dream still vivid in his mind, perhaps he had not taken into account _all_ the risks, but the blow does not come and tries to reopen his eyes: the boy is studying him with curiosity.

His face is very close and he can feel its warm breath against the muzzle.  
«Hey, I thought I had cleaned everything, I must have destroyed your spider web – and yet here you are...». Eren is relaxed while talking, he does not resist and raises a paw, wishing to be able to caress him; the boy smiles more and high fives him with a pen. _“Understandable”_

«Nice to meet you, I'm Eren, and you should be a Hermit – even if a little battered»

He is thrilled, he hasn't tried try to kill him, he stands still and watches him tinker with something – too distracted by the unexpected contact he find himself imprisoned by a glass.

«I'm sorry but it's better if you stay in a place that suits you better»

“ _No! Don't push me away”_ He can only slam his paws against the cold surface, the warmth of his hand radiates through paper beneath him, he has no time to appreciate that as he finds himself in the cold and dark outside the window.

The lamp in the house still turned on for a short while after his eviction, Eren glances in his direction before turning the light off and heading for the bedroom.

  
  


After the initial loss, he decides not to give up, he won't be left left behind, he has overcome obstacles bigger than a closed window. The memory's warmth merges with the warmth he has felt radiating from the palm and understands to not want to give it up.  
Life is too short, he ignores how long he has in that form, and certainly won't waste those moments in the cold and far from Eren.

*

He is thrown out three times and manages to get into four before getting mutual recognition as a roommate. «You won, after all you were here before me» Is all Eren says when, always with a smile, allows him to stay, his refuge has been cleaned, but the boy does not prevent him from returning to his favorite ravines.

  
  


Coexistence continues without problems, a strange relationship is established between them, he _is conscious_ there is something more that unites them, Eren, on the contrary, seems to ignore this detail, but still treats him with all the respect that would be given to a roommate.

  
  


Things are going smoothly, except when small changes are made to their routine, like the day of the _near–spidercyde_ – as the boy called it.

Eren had spent a bad night turning over in bed tormented by nightmares, and he chasing a damned mosquito who dared to disturb the already agitated human's sleep.

The following morning he stayed in the den for the somewhat indigestible prey and Eren had started his usual weekly clean.  
Dazed and a bit shaken by anxiety, the young man had not noticed, unless too late, the spider web he sucked with the vacuum cleaner and the lack of the spider in the room.  
The anxiety attack had worsened irreparably and had started to overturn the furniture in search of him, who came out only when he heard himself be called out.

From that day on, Eren makes sure that he is in view when cleans and he in return greets him every time he comes home, and in the evening when it is bedtime they head to the room together, where he has built a lair behind the bedside table.

  
  


This new routine is more than fine with him, he feels neither a pet nor an uncomfortable presence, he feels welcome; this is what he continues to tell himself to try to ignore the uncomfortable feeling that grips his bowels.

If there is one thing he has learned, it is that when something seems to be going well, it is doomed to change, to evolve into something unexpected. Not always in the negative – although he is not ready to change anything at all, mind you.

He uses to lingers on the bedside table when Eren is asleep, observes his profile caressed by the moonlight, loose hair surrounds his relaxed face, high forehead, straight and slightly pointed nose which then descends towards full lips.

How much he wish to touch him – and decides to do it.

He walks up to the pillow and delicately approaches his face, finally with one paw he is able to touch the warm complexion, unfortunately he cannot test its softness – damned spider legs.

“ _Eren” –_ In a moment quiet and calm expire and the boy's face twists in pain, mouth opens and closes, gnashes his teeth and then starts to turn over in torment.

“ _What did I do?!”_ It has to be his fault! He feels helpless, as never before, he wish to be able to call him, tell him that everything is fine, that he is safe, to hold him in his arms – but he cannot.

He curses himself endlessly for not make do with what he already have in life, for not making the young man's closeness, enough. He curses his curiosity and despair: Eren is sick because of his naked greed!

He tries to find a _logical_ solution, ignoring the visceral impulse that tells him to weave, to do what every spider does to live – _weave the web and untie the knots_.

_Weave the web and untie the knots, weave the web –_ He shakes his head, it's the stupidest thing that could have come to his mind, a glance at the young man's torment is enough to convince himself to try – it's not that he can do anything else.

Quickly reaches the headboard and starts to weave, he throws from right to left, back and forth, tries to weave one of the most beautiful and intricate cobwebs of his short arachnoid–life, he is working relentlessly when he feels the wire under his paws vibrates, like when insects get caught in it.

The vibration increase in intensity forcing him to stop and look for the insolent who dare to distract him in such an crucial moment, under him Eren seems in even greater torment.

He looks carefully at the spider web seeing any bug rather small lumps of web, and here he had been very careful!

He turns back to dissolve the error, with rapid and precise movements loosens the tangled thread, every time he seems to have succeeded, the knots gets more tangled as if by magic, frustrated, he tries to bite and break it, suddenly Eren's eyes open wide and close, his breathing irregular and more laboured. He bites and pulls the damned knot and that's when something breaks.

  
  


_It's hot, an unbearable heat, he would like to skin himself if possible, all around blood and stench of roasted meat._

_His head throbs, hurts, he closes his eyes but the pain is always present and relentlessly increasing, tries to grab his head, he would like to be able to slam it against something, to split it, just to have a little rest._

_Screams, calls, but nobody answers._

_He feels terribly alone, abandoned, the more he sinks into oblivion and more unbearable the agony, he tries again to call that name, he screams it with all of himself and that's when he sees a ray of light._

_«It's alright brat» The playful phrase can't hide his concern, he can't see him, but he feels his body being taken from that infernal trap and finally be able to breath._

  
  


_When he opens his eyes again, he fins himself in the usual cell, he gets up abruptly, dropping the damp patch placed on his forehead, a brief movement next to him, a fresh hand is on his forehead and then gently strokes his cheek. «How are you?» He cannot identify his face but he knows its him, his concern balm for his tormented soul._

_His dry mouth prevents him from answering, his head still throbbing._

_He accepts the glass of water offered to him, the presence's hand helps him supporting it, their fingers intertwined even when the glass is removed._

_«Better» He manage to answers groggily._

_«I'm glad» – the presence nearby whisper, he sees a smile stretch the severe lips of that face in the shadows and then feels them lean softly on his forehead. «Sleep tight» Whispers to him, a breath away from his skin and deep into his soul at the same time._

  
  


Eren finally relaxes, the knot between his fangs has disappeared and there is only a sweetish sensation in his mouth, still he cleans his fangs but tries to memorize it in his mind.

He did not understand what happened, but Eren, not only relaxed but also smiling, is the greatest reward he could have hoped for.

The cobweb melts and falls wetting his young face, a light tear slips between the long eyelashes and is absorbed by the pillow, a _name_ mumbled unconsciously from the boy's lips but his ears are always attentive. _“I'm here”_ He tries to answer anyway.

With a heavy head and a lighter heart he goes back to his lair, if this is the _change_ he can get used to it.  
  
  



	2. To lose yourself, to find who you are, follow your tale, remember your name.

What he could never get used to is the kind of visit they _undergo_ the following day.

The dream seems to have affected Eren more than expected, he keeps on scratching his head, toppling objects and slamming everywhere since he has been awake.  
He is distracted, even a fool could understand it. He murmurs disconnected phrases to himself, turns to look at him deep in thought – mouth half-open, ready to say something that, however, remains even before uttering.

Finally, when he spills the cup of hot tea on his hand the young man decides to ask someone for help, and this is how he finds himself relegated in the bedroom upon Eren's request – the consideration he has of his cognitive abilities is noteworthy, never misplaced, but still he is amazed by the trust he has in him, heaven forbid he will not prove himself worthy, after all he is not just a spider!

«Sorry Hermit, but my mom is coming and she is – how can I say it – just a tiny bit arachnophobic, could you do me a favor and wait in the room until she goes away?».

He agrees without hesitation.

  
  


In hindsight, it was indeed the wisest thing for everyone. The scream of a woman who pierces the silence alarms him for moment, then connects everything thanks to his wise mind and calms down, but remains close to the draft of the door, mind you. In case of need he wants to be ready – the thought of how ridiculous it may seem his intervention is smoothly dismissed: after all last night his help has been important for Eren – or at least he came to this conclusion.

  
  


After a while he find himself listening closely the conversation in other room.   
As Eren in broad outline summarize the dream, he comes to the realization that, one way or another, he _too_ has been a spectator: through Eren's words he retraces all the moments, the heat, the pain and then remembers his own voice speaking to the boy – how much he would like to be as close as he has been overnight.

_«It looks like the bad dreams I used to have as a child – but somehow different»_ He seems to see him, finishing the sentence and biting his lip and then raising his bright eyes searching affirmation in the other's eyes.

_«How so?»_ And then he resumes and tells the _after_ , the comfort, the presence beside him, the light touches and reassuring word. _«It's him_ _mom, I'm sure of that!»._

His eyes open wide to that confession, so remember something Eren's too!

_«Oh my darling»_

_«I miss mum»_ Eventually his voice breaks and his ill-concealed sobs fill the air, suddenly he can't bear any longer and decides to reach Eren.

  
  


It does not take long to cover the short distance, he is able to catch a glimpse of the young man's figure embraced to himself before hell break loose: a scream, a curse, an apology and finally a box.

«Hermit! What I told you!? Mama excuse him–» He can't see the woman, from inside the box he can see Eren's face and how he alternates his worried gaze from the mother in front of him, to him.

He hears her gulping down water trying to regain control over herself. «Eren, What. Is. That. Thing !?» Her voice is weak, she is out of breath and manage to say only a trembling word at a time.

Eren sighs but a slight smile curves his lips. «He is Hermit, my spider friend» His eyes are on the woman again, perhaps seeking her reaction.

«Eren, my love, I've always let you do what you wanted, but I don't think that–» The box cracks a little when the son grabs it and squeezes it with both hands.

«NO! No mom, trust me! He's quiet, he's my friend!»

The woman sighs again. «It is dangerous Eren, think it over, he is a spider! It could bite you someday! You have to get rid of it» He really wants to jump out of the box to show her who she is dealing with, but gives up feeling how Eren's gaze seems to caress him, he has already failed the request – absolutely reasonable – of few hours before. He doesn't want to make the situation any worse.

Then he makes himself smaller and puts all his trust in the boy who starts talking again, never taking his eyes off him.

«No mom, I'm sorry but this is my friend and I's house, _I know it's not a choice I will regret –_ » At that sentence a pang passes through his brain and it is the same for Eren who grabs his temples in painful way. «Eren–?» He shakes his head and reaches out to his mother, perhaps grabbing her hand.

«Please mom, trust me».

She sighs and murmurs something along the lines of «What parents do for their children» – That makes mother and son laugh together. «All right! Don't give me those puppy eyes! Come on, tell me about Hermit».

Boys and spider understand that she gladly preferred to talk about other things. «You asked for it!»

The glass is refilled and another sigh follows. «I know you want to talk about it to death, it's written all over your face»

Eren laughs and begins to tell about their coexistence, he brings up details he didn't even think he had noticed, reporting facts and episodes that he himself had considered normal, instead Eren had observed and memorized with voracious curiosity.   
«–A cockroach mom! You should have seen him, it was twofold him I tell you, and Hermit didn't even need him in the spider web, he managed to chase him and catch him before he could escape under a piece of furniture! It's incredible! He is the _strongest_ spider I have ever seen!» – and then – «One day I saw him washing himself in a bowl left in the sink with some water» – he remembers that episode, he had caught a filthy fly and he realized too late that it, _obviously_ , coming from outside was returning from a _banquet._ “What should I have done !? My paws stank!” He would like to reply, but he can only shake his paws frustrated.

Really, it doesn't seem so exceptional to him, but apparently it is for a _common_ spider.

«Don't you think he is growing on you ? It's not _normal_ –» He loses eye contact with Eren when he jerks his head. «Mom! You taught me not limit myself with social conventions».

The answer seems enough to make her ponder upon herself – if the silence that follow is anything to go by. «You're right, but– it's just you're so precious to me, I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you, I'm just worried».

«Well don't be, I have the strongest hermit spider here to keep me company»

«Don't you think Hermit is a wrong name for him?»

The boy seems to weigh the words of the mother, gaze intense and attentive. «Well, he kept up with that huge cockroach on his own, without three legs and maybe even few eyes less given the scratch on the muzzle–»

«He is in such a bad state?! Show – no, better not, I trust you» They laugh and he is surprised by the description, he felt something wrong, but he didn't thought to be so physically destroyed.  
«Strongest, it's a suitable name for the strongest of spiders».

  
  


Then speech returns to the dream, the mother does not fail to point out how the mere presence of _his_ friend distracted him from the unpleasant memory, Eren replies that it is not an unpleasant memory at all, the first part is tolerable given the evolution of the dream.

Those dreams were a punctual recurrence in adolescence, but they had never evolved that way, he had never felt relief waking up, the presence that had reassured him in the dream rarely came before and even when it had happened, he had not been able to reassure him so much.

As it seems Eren had missed him in the past, but never in such a great extent like after waking up that morning.

And he wanted to reassure him that now he is there, that he will not go away. He would like a way to communicate it to him, but he can only lift one leg, the action attracts the boy who gently approaches his index finger until he touches it. “I am here and I will not go away” Eren smiles, he catch only a glimpse of heat from the contact before it is interrupted, always too early for his tastes.

  
  


The boy's mother stays until before dinner, they continue chatting about Eren's work, how his boss is very satisfied with his work, the talk about studies and impending exams.

«Well, it's time to go, ah Eren, one last thing, do you know that detective I started dating» The boy just nods. «It is getting serious and I'd like you to meet him, if that is okay with you. I know it's sudden and I don't want you to think I want to replace you–».

Eren smiles and hugs the woman. «I am happy for you, I understand your needs and when you want you are both welcome».

The woman is happy for his understanding and does not stop thanking him, Eren laughs at the exaggerated reaction «I hope to be so understanding when you bring a girl home».

«No worries there» His tone full of sarcasm, the eyes of sadness – «Enjoy your relationship and don't forget to use protections!» Eren jokingly scolds her. «Yes _mom_ » They stick out their tongue to each other making farewells, he have to say that he has a really _peculiar_ mother.

  
  


*

He tries to live up to the promise made and keep on protecting Eren in his own way, it's not much, but the human seems to appreciate him anyway. His mun has visited again, and he has always stayed in the box, specially equipped, Eren has provided water and an _aquarium decoration_ as a den.

Eren has noticed his disappointment when he has brought it to him – somehow they have developed some sort of telepathy, otherwise their easiness with which Eren can perceive what he would like to communicate every time cannot be explained. «Do not pout! The skull with the treasure is so cool! – come here, right there! You're perfect!».

He doesn't know exactly why he goes along with his requests – bullshit, he knows it, it's the cheerful reaction elicited from Eren every time he put up with his antics.

The familiar flash blinds him as usual when Eren captures the moment and proudly shows him the picture. «Look at yourself! You are so badass!».

And it's true, but what a shame, he can't say it. «I know you agree with me!» – And it's true “Damn it”.

  
  


It is an evening like any other when another nightmare wakes him up, this time he is ready and immediately leaves his den – with a skull – to reach the headboard where he begins to weave, his instinct proved to be right the previous time, and he goes along with it without thinking twice.

Eren's sleep is less troubled than last time, but still his forehead frowned, he grabs the sheets with both hands and calls, begs crying and sobbing _M_ _om, Mikasa, Armin, Le–_

He goes back paying attention to the cobweb looking for the familiar knots and notice them forming here and there for the whole extension of the web, he ignores the little ones and throw himself on the largest, that's the key to the nightmare.  
He doesn't waste time trying to untie the knot and takes it between the fangs biting and instead of the heat of the previous time, he is welcomed by _anything_.

  
  


_A voice is lost in the void that surrounds him – «Armin, Armin where are you?»._

_«Mikasa, Mikasa come on please!»._

_«Mom! Mom I'm so cold»._

_The increasingly sobs prevent him from speaking, the cold enters his guts, he can't warm up himself, he rubs his arms again and again in search of some comfort he does not deserve._

_The deep voice that reaches him shook even more._

_«You have betrayed them all, you have chosen death instead of life, you are a monster –» «You have made the wrong choice» – he drives away the hand that tries to caress his hair.  
«But don't worry, now you have me» – that sentence is wrong, it should not be _him _, it's_ _not_ him _who has vowed to protect him._

_«Le–» A slap in the face makes him waver – «DON'T MENTION HIM» He tries to say that name again but the letters die in his mouth, he tries and tries again in vain. «You have disappointed him too, you are useless, they were wrong to put humanity's trust in you»_

_He does not even try to defend himself, because in his heart he knows that is not an charge, rather a fact._

_Despite all that he tries to call that name again but an iron grip tightens around his throat preventing him even from breathing. «I am your only hope, my dear little brother, he will not come for you–» The hiss of a blade interrupts the sentence, the hand disappears but he is not alone.  
«I'm here Eren»_

_The darkness clears and in front of him there is an outstretched arm, he grabs it and everything starts to lighten up._

  
  


_Now he is secure in his cell, the darkness surrounding him no longer a threat, now he is not alone, he is safe._

_Against his bare back he feels a muscular chest, on his shoulder the weight of an head, his leaning against a warm chest, protective arms surround him, wrapped tight around his abdomen._

_«It's all right»  
He snuggles more in the comfortable warmth. «Nobody left you, you didn't do anything wrong, you did what you thought was right»_

_He wants to believe him, in his heart he knows that those words are sincere and he wants to enjoy that moment of peace. The companion's lips shower his head with light kisses and reassurances. «It's okay– I'm here– You're safe»._

_He tries to call him, but the name is imprisoned in a kiss before he can say it._

  
  


He releases the last knot, the spider web begins to melt as the previous time, and watches it fall on the boy's face in a cascade of light drops, now Eren is serene, even in his sleep he turns to him, his features relaxed, a slight smile curl his lips. When he is about to return to his lair he takes one last look at him and then goes back to keep on watching from his beloved lair with skull.

  
  


*

  
  


The following morning Eren is more relaxed unlike the previous nightmares, and prepares to face the day with a nostalgic smile on his face; he finds himself observing him for the mere pleasure it sparks in him.

«This night too I dreamed a person I haven't met in a while–» He stops swallowing a lump in his throat then continues– «I miss him so much, I met him a long time ago, he did so much for me–» He bites himself lip, broken voice, bright shiny eyes.

He would like to reach him as in the dream, but it is a luxury not granted to him at the moment, he raises his paw and manages to steal a smile, Eren pushes away a tear and then approaches the index finger in that contact that manages to approach them even when so far away.

Eren sighs a weak – «Thank you» closing his eyes, when he opens them again they are animated by a strange light, and he feels stripped from his spider skin, he feels that Eren is looking _beyond_ _,_ looking for something that he knows to be hidden in front of him. «Strongest you know, you remind me of some _o–»_ _Dlin – Dlon_

The bell shatters the moment created after so much searching without reaching each other, bringing them back to reality.

  
  


When Eren returns, the guy in front of him is someone he would have preferred to have never met again, neither in this life nor in the next.

«Zeke! I wasn't expecting your visit». Eren's voice distracts him from his hatred for the male who has just entered. «I was walking around here and – Watch out Eren!» He looks around not understanding what possible threat the gorilla is referring to, when he notices the shadow of his hand is too late and the lair too far away.

«STOP! I swear to Ymir you will regret it if you dare to do something to him» He opens his eyes and faces Zeke, his arm trapped in Eren's iron grip, his eyes deadly serious and threatening.

«Your friends said that you seem different, but you are completely fucked up brother»

«Unless you go away from him, I am only Eren for you». That sentence manages to pull him back and raise his arms in surrender. «Sit over there» He orders pointing to the chair on the opposite side of the table.

He observes the whole exchange with the heart full of gratitude and affection.   
«Strongest, please enter the box» He does as said, and as soon as he takes refuge in the den, the smile returns on Eren's face, he runs a hand through his long hair, tying them with an elastic band. Then Eren sighs deeply after rubbing his face to release the tension.

  
  


«You put a spider before me? Your family?».

Eren scowls before adding – «I put him even before my mother if you want to know» From his view he can only see Eren's face, but the silence that follows that admission is full of bewilderment.

«Are you sure you're okay?»

Eren shrugs his shoulders shifting the conversation.

«Zeke do you remember those dreams I told you about? Those I made when I was a child, of that other life, of that sense of despair and fear they left me every time I made them?» – he stops to check if he is following him, when he gets a confirmation he starts talking again – «Since I came living here, about six months ago _“_ _have many months already passed?”_ everything has acquired a new meaning. Even the worst nightmares that before I have always wanted to forget, now are precious dreams that help me to understand more and better that other life».  
They do not interrupt eye contact for a moment, all the time his gaze is fixed on him, he had never heard of that _past_ from Eren, he ignored that Eren too was so scarred by that past so distant and distorted.

  
  


«And now you will tell me that it is thanks to that _things_ » That sentence triggers Eren more than anything and replies with venom. « _He_ is a Hermit Spider, and yes, above all it is thanks to him».

«Eren, do you realize that, since you lived and worked here you have become unreachable? Even at uni, your friends say they have seen you less and less and now you mostly follow lectures online».

He ignored all this background, he was always happy to be able to share as much time as possible with Eren, but he didn't think it was at the expense of his life.   
«Don't worry, it's not your fault» He replies as if reading his mind – “I don't believe you” He wishes he could reply.

«You speak to _them_?»

«If you had let me finish, as I was explaining to you – since I lived here the reassuring presence that I rarely felt as a child, it has become a constant, the worse the dream, the closer I felt it. I know we were lovers and I miss him like no other» – «You mean he was a man–?»

That inappropriate reply triggers Eren who explodes completely.

«I was loved, that's all that matters, you can't understand that feeling I've been chasing for a lifetime … you can't understand because you found _her_ again – you found Pieck even before you felt her absence, Zeke, I finally found some peace in all my tormented feelings thanks to this house and to– Strongest» Eren stops to wipe his eyes «I don't know if I'll ever find him, for now this spider is all I have, if you're not interested in understanding me – ignore me, I don't need someone who tries to teach me things he doesn't even know».

The screeching of the chair on the floor puts an end to the discussion.

«Eren, you're the only family I have left, please».

«You can't force something like affection without understanding Zeke, and now I need understanding not your approval of this situation».

«You have always been too stubborn for your own good, if you put something in your damned thick head there is no way to talk some sense into it, stay with your spider, when you are able to reason you know where to find me»

«The same goes for you, see you next time Zeke»

  
  


Only when the door closes he leaves the den, exhausted Eren throws himself on the chair, his elbows on the table and his head in his hands.

He has chosen him twice, first with his mother then with his brother, he approaches the young man hesitantly and still is rewarded by a tired smile.   
«Maybe I'm going really crazy, but I don't care, after so much misery I finally found some rest and if nobody is willing to understand, it doesn't matter, I need only you as long as you will be there»

“You have always been a crazy suicide” That thought seems to steal a grin from the boys, but suddenly his expression changes, and again he seems to look beyond his scatterd body.

«You know, there could be another name that should suit you very well, though – no one else is worthy of it, Strongest is all I can give to us. You don't lack of anything, but for me there will always be only him suitable for _that_ name» The boy laughs bitterly wiping a lonely tear «I'm pathetic, I can't even say his name despite it is always in my mind».

That statement makes him run towards Eren, he want to be able to tell him that he is _here_ , that he is _him_ , that he is not alone.

He does not know for what absurd reason _they_ graced Zeke, and not Eren, it is wrong in so many ways, Eren has given everything and despite that he does not deserve some peace.

«I remember to have made an important choice, perhaps it is for that reason that I do not deserve to be happy, yet today humanity is free, so I suppose that decision was not entirely wrong either».

He would like to tell him that he could blame only the fate to have reduced them in that way, he would like to tell him many others things, he would like to hold him as he does in the dream, he would like but cannot.

«Come on, it's better if I have tea, the discussion with Zeke has dried me up»

“I can't agree any more”.  
  



	3. Become the kind who still laush at butterflies, give me a home inside you until the final thank you.

“ _A roar scratches the air, smell of death and destruction everywhere, the walls shattered._

_Wherever you look there is desolation and rubble._

_The only figure that still stands proud is a titan with black hair and emerald eyes, towering over everything and everyone. It screams, its hands move frantically between the raven locks and scratch the flesh that continues to regenerate itself – it tries to scratch the nape, to open the flesh but in vain._

_«HE CAN'T SET FREE!» Someone yells._

_«I'M GOING!» A deep voice answers without hesitation, only in this moment he understand the real wight of his promise._

_The grappling hooks are implanted in the flesh of the titan's shoulders, but before he can land he is grabbed in midair by the hand of the titan._

“ _STUPID! STOP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” Another voice resounds in the fetid air, a heartbreaking and desperate cry._

_«Eren, it's me!» The calm tone of the man is betrayed by his alarmed look, the blades are planted in the hand which still holds him mercilessly. “Why did you come Captain !? You have just let me die, I don't deserve–” He can't finish the sentence as the man scream louder._

_«Stupid giant, drop me! EREN I KNOW YOU ARE THERE!» The crowd around watches the scene helplessly, there are those who clutches their ears, those who have their eyes shut, there is only another raven–haired figure who tries to approach to help the man, but too late._

_The titan observes the human in his hands, opens wide his jaws and merciless tightens them on his head, tearing it from his body, screams pierce the air–_

  
  


The nightmare is more violent than the previous ones, he realizes it when his lair is thrown away by a handful of the boy, he runs towards the headboard to weave and immediately several lumps are trapped here and there, but he is not interested, he must wait for the biggest.

He doesn't have time to spot him that something more dangerous catches his attention.

The bedroom door is opened and a man enters the room, the faint moonlight illuminates the knife he holds in his hand.

He decides to ignore the nightmare and runs towards the attacker – Eren can survive the dream.

  
  


He runs the few meters that separate them with all the speed that his battered spider body allows him, he manages to reach the stranger and letting himself be guided by instinct sinks his fangs into the tender flesh of the neck.

The attacker screams, startling Eren who suddenly wakes up, however the distraction is fatal for him, he did not notice the hand that approached dangerous and that launched him away cursing him.

  
  


*

  
  


When he regains consciousness he is confused and finds himself exhausted in a dusty corner.

The aching body does not respond as it should: some limbs are twisted in wrong angles and the fangs do not move either, he feels pain everywhere, even breathing hurts, he cannot even sigh – he would have liked to spend more time with Eren, but he is not allowed to, the only consolation to know that Eren is safe and sound.

  
  


Tiredness takes over: the time has come to stop fighting, but he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to give up after struggling so much, he's selfish and just wants to be with Eren.

«Strongest?» His name reaches him from afar distracting him from his pain, the tone worried and frantic. He does not deserve all that concern and tries, uselessly, to get up.   
“And finally the end has really come again” – He wishes all the good of this and the next worlds to Eren, he doesn't care that he lost his life again for him, it could happen again and again and he would sacrifice himself for him with pride – «STRONGEST !? COME ON, COME OUT».  
Eren's voice gets closer, he hears him rummaging everywhere, turning over furniture and finally he sees his face, even if it is blurred. He tries to rub his eyes, but he still can't focus on it, he swears and curses that damned thief, he can't even leave with Eren's face imprinted on his mind.

«Don't leave me please» “I don't want to” – He tries to lift a paw, he prays at least for that consolation and he succeeds, he can't see him but he feels his heat. «Please don't go, I just found you». Salty drops bathe his battered body, that idiot is crying for him, the thought fills him with joy and tears his heart apart at the same time.

“Don't cry, I'm not worth your tears” The boy holds him up as the most precious treasure, at least he can go away wrapped in his warmth.

«You know, that name I had in mind… I didn't want to pronounce it» – He wipes a tear, but many others wet his face when he starts talking again «– I didn't want to call _you_ for fear of making your absence real, when in reality you have always been by my side».

He collects all the forces he has left: he wants to hear his name come out of his lips at least once.

«You are a stupid Levi, my existence has never been worth yours» Now he can go in peace, he only hopes that he will be given another chance. “Goodbye Eren”

“Levi” He hears him murmur one last time before falling back into total darkness.

  
  


It is no longer dark around him, the faint light of the dawn illuminates the desolate landscape, a figure approaches him, she is a woman.

He observes her as she crouches down in front of him, collects sand and passes it over his eyes and then on his body, then after having dusted the grains off her, she gets up. She holds out his hand and then everything disappears.

  
  


For a moment he seems to be lighter than air and then feels his weight amplified millions of times, feels cold under himself and a warm presence beside him.

He tries to open his eyes as he takes possession of this _body_ , his head seems to burst and a slight sense of nausea compels him to stop and breathe slowly.

He stretches a limb towards that inviting heat, feels fingers at its end – a _hand_ – and it is in that moment that he grabs another one stronger and warmer with long fingers and responds with all the strength he has in himself.

«Levi–» Hearing his name he turns his numb head, manages to open his eyes and meets that gaze he would recognize among thousands: two brilliant oceans set on a sun–kissed face, surrounded by soft brown hair.

He clears his dry throat and calls out the name he missed so much. «E–ren».

  
  


The boy touches him uncertainly, swallows loudly and gasps in disbelief when he manages to caress his chest and with his other arm he surrounds his torso. He continues to murmur an infinite series of «You are alive» «It is you» and his name again and again; he sinks the head into the hollow of his neck to smell skin, hair, everything that makes Levi human again.

«I'm here» He replies, returning the hug. «I am here and I will not go away» He clings to his partner's back, reciprocating with how much strength he has in his body, he wants to feel him closer, he needs to know him safely in his arms. «I'm alive» More certainly than ever.

At those words the boy bursts into tears, the embrace is messy and violent, they grab each other with everything they have in their bodies.

«Never leave me again» – He is asked between a sob and the other, the hand goes up from his back and grabs him by the head bringing him closer. «Never again» He answers confidently.

«Promise» He is ordered, Eren's voice broken by wails.

He pushes him away just enough to allow their eyes to meet «Eren I promise to never abandon you again» He tries to reassure him.

«And never to sacrifice yourself again» His eyes widen at this request – «Promise me». The boy pleads between clenched teeth.

Eren could ask him anything, but not this. «I can't» He exhales, looking away.

«Levi» implores him, caresses his face with one hand to attract his attention. «I beg you Levi, I cannot lose you again».

He grabs his hand and strokes it with his lips – «And that's exactly why I'll do it a thousand times more if necessary».

He is not the type to make empty promises, he does not expect anything other than the murderous glance with which Eren strikes back speechless, he tries to reply but can only grind his teeth.   
He would like to smile and kiss that grimace so much _Eren_.

However what he does not expect are the fingers sinking deeply into his hair, nails scratching his skin, he is pulled strongly towards the minor, their foreheads collide. «I hate you» – Eren exhales a breath from his lips before catching them in a deep and painful kiss.

Levi raises his torso partially regaining control of the situation without ever interrupting the contact, Eren's fury subsides for a moment and they take a breath, he take advantage of the minor's calm and bite his lips – the contact becomes violent and uncoordinated again, there are too many teeth, too much saliva, and too little air, but it doesn't matter.

He moans his partner's name over and over again, he has deprived himself of it for too long and now he can't help it – and Eren does the same by abusing his between kisses.

  
  


He does not know exactly when they left the floor and ended up between the sheets, the memories of a few hours before completely vanished, problems for another moment and another place.

Now there are Eren and him who are feverishly looking for each other, the hands cannot stand still in one place, Levi needs to feel him under his hands, to feel its live and pulsing flesh and Eren has the same need, as they have been so close yet so far away.

A higher moan from Eren marks the point of no return, Levi lets his fingers sink into his companion's voluptuous body, he needs no further confirmation when he feels the minor chasing that contact with his whole body.

  
  


With a fluid and not at all gentle push, he returns to breathe in his partner, his warmth envelops him, brings him back to life; he would like to savor that moment, but his human body cannot stand still, his legs move frantically looking for greater contact with Eren, who groans demanding, ordering, claiming more, and he goes along with all those requests by giving to his lover all himself.

He sinks with ever faster movements, his hands everywhere on the tanned and warm skin, the mouth makes contact with everything in front of him, first with a kiss on the chest, then with a bite on a nipple and thus continuing making the body above him sing.

The pelvis of the minor slam strongly against his, their lovemaking is intense, even hurts but it is the only way they can get satiated, wet snaps of skin against skin joins the noisy moans in a symphony made of love and passion.

He fails to warn Eren when he comes, and his companion follows him looking for his lips, holding on to his shoulders and head for another painful, wet, vital kiss – freeing himself against his body.

  
  


They remain like this, Levi does not stop caressing his companion even for a moment, tracing infinite paths on his lover he has missed more than anything else.

Eren does not move and crouches against his chest, Levi's hands resting on his trained thighs, the feeling of dampness on his chest and sliding from Eren's buttocks to his thighs is annoying, but he doesn't care, not now that they have found each other.

Without ever taking him away, he grabs the sheets and bring them over their body tenderly interwoven.

«I don't hate you» – the boy murmurs against his neck showering it with light kisses. «I missed you»

«Me too brat» Eren stops, licking his neck before grabbing the tender flesh between his teeth and then biting not very gently. «Ouch».

«I'm not a brat».

«I know, you are _my_ brat» He seems to like the answer more and rewards him with other kisses and caresses, but he hears him swallow a yawn anyway.

«Sleep, it has been a tough night» The soft locks tickle his cheek when Eren shake his head «No». Murmurs stubbornly. «I don't want to lose you again».

He begins to caress his hair and murmurs reassurances to accompany him in his sleep «I will not go» – «I got you» The young man tries to make him stop but after a while he succumbs to fatigue, the breaths deeper and the muscles relax.

However, he does not stop pampering him, he is just as tired, but he suffered too much in having him so close and out of reach for all those months, and now he is able to relish the heat of his skin, breathe his scent deep in his lungs, feel him alive and safe.

The fingers run through the muscles and above all the corners of that body that he has known by heart since his previous life and that he has never forgotten, he cannot hold back despite the fear of waking him.

The mouth continues to murmur promises of love lulling the boy into an even deeper sleep, his face relaxed and happy.

  
  


*

  
  


The morning comes too early, an annoying ray of sunshine makes its way beyond the shutters and hits him on the eyelids forcing him to wake up, he looks around bewildered before remembering everything.

He is human again, he has another chance.

«Good morning» He barely has time to see the shadow of his companion who takes his breath away with a kiss, Eren takes his place on his pelvis, putting his arms around his neck and storming his face with kisses. «Good morning» Answer amused with shortness of breath.

A light aroma of mint tickles his nose, his curious look cause a laugh from the minor. «I remember your hate for morning breath and I've already brushed my teeth»

At that admission, he chase fresh lips. «If this isn't love» he murmurs, carrying a lock of hair behind his ear and getting lost in the oceans in front of him, a slight blush warms Eren who gasps, perhaps surprised by the lighthearted statement. Of course, _before_ he has never let himself indulge into that kind of sweet nothing, but _now_ after a life spent looking after him in a spider–form he no longer cares, and it is better for Eren to get used to it.

  
  


The boy sitting astride presses on all the most sensitive points, reminding him of all the physical needs of a human being, and as far as he would like to enjoy the moment his body takes precedence. «Um Eren, I have to piss» A laugh, a kiss and finally he can reach the bathroom.

«I put a change of clothes on the bed, if you want to take a shower – you already know where to find the rest while I prepare breakfast."

  
  


When he comes out of the bathroom to get dressed a multitude of aromas becloud his senses, he quickly dresses and reaches the kitchen where he finds the table set with a meal worthy of a king; Eren is toasting some slices of bread. «I don't know what you preferred so I did a little of–».  
He doesn't let him finish the sentence, he reaches him and Eren lets himself be handled without complaining always with a smile on his lips, a smile that Levi devours with other kisses.  
«There's enough food for a regiment, we'll think about the rest of the bread later»

When they sit at the table, opposite from them he sees his former den. «I know it's dirty, but I have to get used to not having my friend around anymore, be patient for a while». He simply shrugs and starts eating, if Eren needs it he has nothing to say.

  
  


He bites s slice of bread with jam and a wave of flavors cloud his senses, the sweetness of the jam mixed with the crunchiness of the bread make him mumble with pleasure «It's delicious!».

His exaggerated reaction provokes a laugh in the boy. «Strawberries, I don't think you've ever tasted them before, it was a fruit for the nobles back then» – he doesn't care about the history of the fruit, he brings the slice of bread close to the boy's face «Taste it».

«But I already know what it's like–»

«I don't care, eat» – He doesn't know where the request comes from, but when Eren laughs and bites the slice of bread he feels better. «You're right–» Eren agrees without stopping chewing, he and his damned vice of speaking with his mouth full «– it's much better than usual! Oh I almost forgot!» With a sugary kiss on the cheek he gets up and grab their tea and offer him a cup.

The scent of tea and citrus fruits, the warmth of Eren at his side, his clothes on, their hands intertwined, those are all things that over the years everyone ends up taking for granted, as has happened in their previous life, but he promises himself to celebrate them every day as long as he lives.

Eren is unaware of those thoughts, but the way he leans against his shoulder trying to deepen the contact, makes him understand that he is feeling the same thing.

  
  


*

  
  


The morning is quiet when Eren's phone rings with insistence: it is the police station calling for reporting the aggression of the previous night, his return to human form and their meeting after a long time have completely distracted them from the events of the previous night.

The boy is given an appointment for when he will have to go to the station to recognize the criminal, they confirmed that he is safe thanks to a spider, without his intervention he certainly would have been killed in his sleep. «May I advise you to disinfect the apartment anyway, that spider's breed is quite dangerous, you were very lucky considering how things have evolved, if I were you I wouldn't try my luck again».

At that recommendation he grimaces, Eren manages to silence him before he replies annoyed that he could have never made such a mistake. When the call ends, the minor bursts out laughing. «You are impossible Levi! They can't know I had my own personal spider–guard!».

«Tsk».

  
  


They are curled up in each other's arms on the sofa when they are disturbed again, the apartment bell rings hysterically, and even before Eren have time to get up, frantic blows assault the door.   
«I'm coming! – Wait here» He murmurs stealing another kiss «So I won't undergo withdrawal»  
He explains without ever stopping to smile. «Idiot» – and then goes back swearing against unwanted guests. «If it's you Zeke, you can go fuck yourself».

«EREN!?» His mother's ringing voice reaches them from beyond the door, the boy petrifies and looks at him – _worriedly?_ «Come on open before I knock the door down» Eren bites his lip, seems torn about something. «Sorry Levi» and do as asked.

He doesn't understand those excuses until he sees her.

  
  


«GOD EREN YOU ARE ALIVE !! When Erwin called to tell me about the assault I was going to die, why didn't you call me? How are you? Oh my darling» He can't move a muscle for fear of being noticed, the _four-eyed_ is his mother!?

Is she the arachnophobic mother?! He has no doubts, the woman is unmistakable, same brown hair gathered in a messy high ponytail – no doubts she has tormented them concerned for her boy. She does not have eyeglasses, but is her under every other aspect: same old ringing voice, same thousand words per minute, same old exaggerated reactions.  
«Mum I'm fine, come on, take a seat before you have a heart attack». Eren tries to ease the tension but the woman does not give up, grabs him and rests her forehead on the young man's shoulder. «Before the spider, now the aggression, please come home, please do it for me, the world is not –» – «MOM! Come sit down, I'm alive, I'm fine, don't worry, and mmh– »Eren turns in his direction looking for the words to present him, the mother is still in a state of shock and has no eyes except for her son. «Speaking of the spider –» He starts uncertain, at that phrase the brunette snaps to attention.

«What's up? Did the spider hurt you!? If it is so–».

Enough, he can no longer undergo that crazy rant, the sooner they calm her down the better, so they can return to make up for all the lost time. «Oh, cut him some slack shitty four–eyes» His voice makes the room fall into absolute silence, Hanji looks up in disbelief, and then seeks confirmation in his son – it sounds so bad – whom simply nods.

«Mom, look who saved me last night»

Hanji gets up from his chair and goes to greet him, she is more _adult_ than before, but certainly not more mature.

«Levi» It is a whisper, her eyes flood with tears and in a moment he finds her clinging to his neck crying, sobbing, and calling his name endlessly. «I can't believe it, but look at yourself! Oh Levi! What are you doing here? How did Eren find you? Oh but wait for Erwin to see you! We have looked for you so much!» He reciprocates the embrace – after a long time he owes it to her – even if he cannot compete with that of his old friend. «Hey if you loosen your grip a little, maybe I can live a few more days».

At that sentence she distance herself a bit, still crying and laughing, she wipes her eyes with one hand and then swears against the contact lenses. «Is it really you».

He just nods again. «It's really me»

  
  


Eren excuse himself to do some work in the garden, it is a trivial pretext to leave them some time alone, and he is grateful to him. The careful eye of the woman does not overlook the handshake and the affectionate look that they exchange when Eren takes his leave and Levi knows that he owes her some explanations.

«Let me start, I have less to say» He decides to take the floor, Hanji looks at him perplexed «Please, You – he underlines pointing the index to her – mother of Eren!? Compared to that I have only a few spider years to tell you».

In a short time he explains his life as a spider, explaining that he was the _monster_ who almost attacked her on that famous day and that he would never hurt Eren, stress that detail with a sideways glance that makes Hanji laughs. «Diffident woman»

And finally he tells her about the previous night, about the attacker and his strong desire to protect Eren – he tries, in vain, to keep a neutral and disinterested tone, so as not to leak too much of his real relationship with Eren – «– and that's how in the end he recognized me, the last thing I remember is to have heard my name and then to have woken up human»

When he concludes the story, Hanji is wiping more tears while tormenting her lip. «Oh Levi, thank you! I will eternally owe you!» This is an answer he certainly didn't expect. «You protected and saved Eren, thank you very much».

«I'll do it again, but the brat doesn't want to»

That sentence spark a weak laugh in the woman, who still can't stop crying.   
«Can you blame him? He has already lost you once, he risked losing you again, Levi, you are important to him, more than I could ever be – don't look at me like that, did you think we were really so stupid to not notice?» He ignore her comment taking a sip of water and drops the discussion diverting it to another topic that presses him.

«Who's the lucky guy? Eren must have a father» Unexpectedly he sees her blushes, gasps for a moment and then regain control. «It's not what it seems».

  
  


She begins to tell him about her career as a child psychiatrist, and how during her weekly appointment at the orphanage she stumbled across Eren, he was five years old at the time – his bright eyes, his creative mind – when they met for the first time he was orphaned following a car accident.

The boy isolated himself, it took her some time to get results, only when one day he confided her that he felt less alone in his company she decided to take him home, no matter what – «I wanted to give him that childhood that could have been denied to him even in this life» Her loving gaze reaches the door. «He became like a son to me, I couldn't have had more luck as a mother!» The pride and emotions she feels are reflected in her eyes, she sighs a moment before continuing the story.

The practice was long, she was considered too young and as aggravating was also single, in fact, partially is thanks to Erwin if in the end they granted her the adoption, apparently the manipulative bastard made a name for himself in this time too, and he managed to ease his adoption.  
He was seven years old when the boy legally became Eren Jaeger–Zoe, her son, she tried to give him everything he could wish for.

Little by little the memories surfaced and only during his adolescence did he recognize her, there were many people still in the shade, to whom he could not give a face, and other he felt related to, and he was among them.

«He has looked for you all this times, you have always lived in his dreams, he called you hero and friend, then growing up your presence took on another weight and from his stories I understood everything».

Levi tries to maintain a neutral expression, but those details warms his heart, he clears his throat and deflects the speech again – causing another laugh.

«I'm not ready to talk about our relationship – especially with you!» – the whole story brings to his mind another not–so–insignificant detail. «What about Zeke? I heard he calling Eren brother–».

«They met in college, Zeke is his biological brother in this life too – Eren is his father's second marriage son – there has never been a grudge between them and they decided to keep in touch, personally I think it has been a good idea for both of them– do you have any more questions?».

«Erwin?».

«Erwin has made a career as a lawyer, he is the most influential in the city, he was the one who gave Eren the opportunity to live in this property in exchange for maintenance and various jobs, it is his summer residence – when Eren will show you around you will understand».

  
  


He's about to ask another question when Hanji's gaze gets serious. «Now listen to me, for now I will pretend to not have noticed with Eren» – With a gesture she points towards his neck and only now he notices the various love–bites silent witnesses of the previous night. «You are my best friend, you are just as important to him and I respect that, but if you dare disrespect him, hurt him, even without taking the necessary precautions before sex, I swear on Ymir and all that is dear to her that I will make you pay for it, how much it is true that in the past I begged her to let both of you have your justice in due time».

And at that moment the circle closes, that sentence that accompanied him in the dark – _«They gave you everything they had, they consecrated their life for your cause, now I ask you, no, I demand you to repay them for their sacrifice! Allow them to be the architects of their destiny and to find themselves again» –_ «You?»

Hanji sighs, scratching her head. « Let's say I didn't take your death very well, and in hindsight threatening a divinity was a somewhat risky choice, but here we are in one way or another».

  
  


The light knock on the door distracts them from their speech. «Mom?»

«Come on, Eren dear, thank you for your patience». He enters with a torn expression on his face, clears his throat before speaking. «Who's the man smoking by the car?»

At that question Hanji blazes. «Um Eren, sit down, damn it, Levi no hard feelings»

Without replying Eren takes a chair and sits down next to him, their hands intertwined again, both of them look at her curiously.

«Eren do you remember when I told about that man I've been dating for a while? The detective–»

Eren's eyes light up «It's him!? Mom I am so happy for you!».

When her eyes soften and her face becomes purple, Levi realizes that he is not ready yet for this new Hanji.

«I would like to introduce him to you since our story is becoming serious, you have been very respectful about my private life but I thinks the time has come to let you know each others» she murmurs another apology in his direction and goes out to call the man.

«I am glad that she is settling down, she made many sacrifices for me! She deserves it!» Exhale Eren resting his head on his shoulder, he begins to caress his back with circular movements.   
Suddenly he realize that for Hanji it may have been the same to see him infatuated in the previous life, he has Eren by his side, whatever the four–eyed wants to do she will have all his support.

He has time to deposit just a light kiss between the messy locks that the door is opened again.

«Eren – Levi, here's Kenny, my boyfriend» He turns his head suddenly towards the door, his hands reach the belt unconsciously in search of the swords. «Kenny!?»

Yet it is really him, the face a little cleaner, a little less grinning, in general a little more presentable, but it is him.

«Hey nephew, you keep on looking like a teenager».

No, he can't accept that, Hanji mother–in–law is somehow ok, Kenny father–in–law? Not at all.

«I'm sorry I'm going to take a shit» He proclaims getting up and going towards the bathroom.

Behind him he hears the light laughs of his new family, Eren's is all over the others, it will take time, but for his brat he is willing to endure this too.

  
  


«Levi?» Eren's voice reaches him, he opens the door to let him in, is struck by the brilliance of his eyes, his hair loose and messy, he can't resist and kisses him again.

«And you asked me to not sacrifice myself anymore» He murmurs to him in a whisper.

Eren's hands tremble with the laughter he tries to hold back. «We'll face those two together» He replies with a smile on his lips.

«Together» – Why is that boy always so perfect? «I love you Eren»

His answer is a sugary kiss with minty flavor, followed by the screams of his mother–in–law begging to wait for them to go away and the amused snort of his father–in–law slash former uncle, or call him as you please – «I said he still looks like a teenager in hormonal crisis» He takes note of the comment from afar, he will make him fuck himself later, the important thing is that he has Eren, everything else does not count.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! I decided to post the last chapter now that I have time!   
> I hope to not disappoint with the end, maybe Levi is a tiny bit Ooc, but do understand his previous despair in having Eren so close yet so far away.
> 
> This first attempt at translating one of my own works and let me say it went far better than I anticipated.  
> I'm thinking to translate others works hoping to reach more readers :D.  
> Thank you very much for putting up with me, for the comments, the kudos and the bookmark!  
> See you next time!

**Author's Note:**

> About the change of the gender of the protagonist from "they/them" to "he/him" it's not a mistake, at first the protagonist do not undestand what he really is, when he do realize everything starts to change, first of all the perception of himself.  
> I hope the events are clear and everything makes sense.
> 
> I'm currently translating the other chapters, as you can see there will be a total of three.  
> Thank you for your attention and I hope you will enjoy the rest of this mini-long.  
> See you.  
> Ylpeys :D


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